Friday, May 15, 2009

When Angels Fly

On Friday night I had the house to myself courtesy of the new Star Trek movie. The young men in my life had been beamed up. The remote was mine! I got into my comfy, lay-around-on the- sofa-with-my-dog pants and settled into digital decadence. It was my intention to not even land on anything for more than five minutes at a time. My converter box was my boogey-board and I was going surfing. This euphoria I describe should tell you what a rare happenstance I found myself in. But barely a minute into my evening I caught a big wave and rode it for two hours, finding myself reflective and refined when I made it back to shore.

I had heard somewhere that Farrah Fawcett was yet another celebrity with cancer. What I hadn't heard was that she was a warrior. I watched the documentary "Farrah's Story" and saw up close and personal how she fought desperately and heroically to conquer "the terrorist" (as her doctor put it) that had ambushed her life. I marveled at the courage she possessed as she endured painful treatments, surgery after surgery, chemo, radiation and all the hell that goes with living in one. The girl known for her hair didn't have any any longer. A friend of hers had taped her battle for well over a year, because Farrah was sure it would have a happy ending and she could be a beacon of hope for others. She fought so valiantly because, as she said several times on Friday night..."I just want my life back." Instead, as we speak, she is dying. No matter how much she wants's not gonna happen. She will be a beacon, though. Just not the kind she had in mind in the beginning of all this.

I just want my life back. The places that you have to be in to utter those words have doorways I don't want to ever cross. But I have a chance to take my life back. I can say it and it is so. I don't have to beg God for that miracle. I have that miracle every day.

How is it that my life needs taking back? Anything you take for have lost. I am so lucky in so many ways...yet I am wasteful. I have a God who loves me and offers me his grace and forgiveness spite of myself, but my Bible has dust on it. (literally). I have talents that for some reason he decided to rain on me, but I don't honor them like I should. (I actually complain out loud as I head to my studio when I have too many orders for my work.) I stopped singing. I am not sick, but I am lazy about exercise and do next to nothing to insure I stay healthy. You get the picture.

I want my life back. I want the joy that is found in "His mercy is new every morning." I want to sing again and to run to my studio everyday, thrilled that I get to make things with my hands for a living. I want to glow with health. In other words I want to take nothing for granted and seek a grateful heart. MY grateful heart. All I have to do is wake up tomorrow morning and grab it..take's mine.

Grab it. Take it. It's yours.

Thank you Farrah.


Halo Hill said...

I was so sad, I only got to see a tiny piece of it! I really wanted to watch it, did you see it on the internet? She is amazing, isn't she? She is so inspiring... and here I sit, with my little aches and pains and laziness and not taking care of myself either. I want my life back too. Want to "walk" together? I'll step out in faith with you. I'll prop you up when you need it if you'll smack me when I need it.

Blessings to Farrah, and you and our many sisters who just wand our lives back. She is fighting so hard. I'm digging for the old fight in me, there are no excuses for me. Bless her heart. (And yours too).


Anonymous said...

Obviously i haven't been able to see this documentary about Farah Fawcett , but she sounds like a fighter , and i so hope she wins through in the end .
I totally agree with you about taking life back , i too have got a bit lazy , you've definitely given me something to think about
Lorraine xx

Kaz said...

I didn't even know about this, so so sad. wow. this is food for thought though, you're right. xox

The Rustic Victorian said...

God is useing her right now. She is touching so many with her battle. I am glad you posted this KC.
I write a letter to God regularly, spill my guts, and burn it,,,it has changed my life.
I also have much work to do.
Blessings in your Day!

Tristan Robin Blakeman said...

Beautiful post KC - thanks for writing it.

Have you heard about Farrah's latest battle? - as if dying of cancer isn't bad enough. Some producer is hauling her into court saying that he has the "rights" to her life story.

I hope they give her his house.

KC Willis said...

I would hate to stand before the Almighty with that little morsel on my plate. What's that guy thinking? She doesn't know enough of what's going on around her anymore to even know of this. A blessing, I suppose. Thanks Tristan.

R2artstudio said...

KC, Thanks so much for posting about this. I too, watched Farrah's struggle, and was very moved by what she is going through. I so wanted to write something about it, but couldn't find the words. Thank you for finding those words, and I totally agree with what you have said.

Anonymous said...

I watched farrah's story. It is a gift. For the last 3 years I have been taking care of my mom who has 2 kinds of cancer. it is a 24 hour job but mostly it lives in your mind and heart..always. I haven't been taking care of myself. I am 43. my mother is 77. I finally went to the doctor and he has found a tumor on my uterus. I am waiting for the results. If we don't grab life and live surprizes us with a kick in the butt sometimes! I am the only one that takes care of my mom. No matter what life throws at are always stronger then you ever thought you would be.Sure there are moments of screaming and crying..but inner strength wins out.Just remember..the sun will always come up and tomorrow always means a new begining.

Anonymous said...

Dearest KC,

After leaving Ron at the hospital that day back to my hotel, I was able to catch most of Farrah's story. The very thing you wrote about was the very thing that struck home with me..."I want my life back".

When I went through cancer and chemo, that was all I asked for. I'm asking it again in this time of life, but I'm also asking for my husband to come back. I want him back to the person he was before his brain tumor/surgery. I want our simple life back without major incidents. Just simple, mundane and I'll even take

I know now that my mama is gone, I will never get that part of life back that I took for granted, but enjoy the life of those still surrounding me. Yet I can't stop desiring to have my life back that included my mom...sigh.

After watching Farrah I cried like a baby. I honestly don't know if my cancer came back I could fight like she is. But if it does I will remember her and her fight, her bravery and perservence. I even started to cry with Ron at the hospital about this and he really did understand. I think of Patrick Swayzie (sp?) in his battle. He is my hero too.

Just like now that Ron has lost his voice and ability to eat, I think to myself, and what were we complaining about before????? Oh my.

So I stand with you my dear friend, and say a big AMEN to what you shared.

With love,

PS: I can't figure out how to use my typepad to comment...oh well.

Jane said...

KC, Thank you for the wonderful WELL WRITTEN motivating post. God bless Farrah.

Dorthe said...

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou-
and Amen to that-I`ts so right,

Hugs Dorthe

Kim said...

That's the spirit! I came to the same realization some time ago , so you go get it , girl!

Kerin said...

I didn't see this story about Farrah but lost my sister a couple of years ago to such a terrorist and as her sole caregiver we faced the ongoing attacks together and did the best we could. She has always been my hero ever since I can remember and no less so for how she faced her last challenges.

I take things for granted *sometimes* as we all do but not nearly as often as I have in the past. I changed my life around completely after I lost her. Everything is simpler with lots of time to make art and go to the beach-- and to express heartfelt gratitude for all that is.

Whew!!! That was so emotional writing all that (i'm in tears of course) when actually I just came by to say hello since you joined the Mixed Media Art ning site. If you didn't join please do let me know!

Thanks for the wonderful post, KC.


Debbie said...

I did not watch the Farrah story but my girlfriends have given it great reviews.

I have been in a different health situation. I have lost the last 4 years in life due to health problems. Finally life is beginning to turn around. It is not the life I had before but it is a life. Everyday I wake up gratiful for the chance to take small steps back ino participation of life. one thing that was so important to me was to see all the beautiful cards, altered art, collage etc on the internet.

For me right now gradtitude is the answer.

debbie peysen

Utah Grammie said...

My own brother is dying of cancer - I just got back from his ranch in Arivaca Arizona - a great trip but one that may be my last to see him for a while. My throat has a lump the size of Texas right now as I read your words- feeling much the same way as you are - shame on me for wasting even a minute of what my brother would like ot have back. All he wants to do before he's called Home is to ride his horse once again. We all hope & pray that this happens -

From one cowboy's little sister-thanks for this post.

Sujati said...

Thanks for such a moving post-all the wonderful responses here say it everything,blessing to you all.

Jennifer and Kim said...

A very inspiring post KC. Thank you

Olde Baggs n Stuft Shirts by LindaOma said...

Crusin' and found your remarkable post. Thanks, I needed that. Linda in New Mexico

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